Clerihew

Goldilocks

should not go alone on her forest walks.

Perhaps if she were with someone reasonable, she would not be stealing food from the mouths of hungry bears,

and smashing their chairs.


Jabbergoldie

`Twas brillig, and the hungry bears
Did gyre and gimble in their bowl:
All mimsy were the bearogoves,
And the mome raths outstroll.

“Beware the Goldilocks, my son!
The fist that knocks, the sniffing nose!
Beware the open door, and in
The Goldilocks she goes!”

She took a vorpal spoon in hand:
Long time the porridge bowl she sought —
Then tasted she of the first of three,
But oh, it was too hot.

And so she tried the second bowl,
Too cold. And then the third, ate all.
And then three chairs, too hard, too soft,
And one that caused her fall!

One, two! One, two! These beds won’t do.
The third, just right. She hit the sack.
And while she slept, those wandering bears,
They came galumphing back.

“And, who did eat the porridge? It’s
All gone. And who did break a chair?
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
Could that be her right there?

`Twas brillig, and the slithy bears
Did gyre and gimble by the bed;
All mimsy was the Goldilocks,
And home she up-fled.


Limerick

She ate and she broke and she slept.

Wreaked havoc wherever she stepped.

Until she heard, “Neat!

What part can I eat?”

And out of the window she leapt.


Loku

Three almost starved bears.

One rather annoying girl.

Three Bears have dinner.


William Carlos Williams’ Goldilocks

I have eaten

the porridge

that was on

the table

and which

you were probably

hoping

would cool down

Forgive me

It was delicious

so sweet

and just right.

so much depends

upon

a broken

chair

held by angry

bears

beside the blonde

girl

 


The Story of the TREE HAREs

Once upon a CRIME there were TREE HAREs.  They lived together in a MOUSE of their own in the FLORIST.  One of them was a little, SMELLY, TREE HARE.  One was a FIDDLE-sized HARE.  And one was a GREEK, HUGGY HARE.

They each had a BALL for their PORCH.  The little, SMELLY, TREE HARE had a little BALL.  The FIDDLE-sized HARE had a FIDDLE-sized BALL.  The GREEK, HUGGY HARE had a HUGGY BALL.

They each had a PEAR to sit in.  The little, SMELLY, TREE HARE had a little PEAR.  The FIDDLE-sized HARE had a FIDDLE-sized PEAR.  The GREEK, HUGGY HARE had a HUGGY PEAR.

And they each had BREAD to sleep in.  The little, SMELLY, TREE HARE had little BREAD.  The FIDDLE-sized HARE had FIDDLE-sized BREAD.  The GREEK, HUGGY HARE had HUGGY BREAD.

One day, they made the PORCH for their BREAKLEGS, and poured it into their PORCH BALLs.  Then they walked out into the FLORIST while the PORCH was cooling.

While they were walking, a little GHOUL called GOLDIEROCKS came to the MOUSE.  First she looked in at the WIDOW.  Then she peeped in at the keyhole.  She didn’t see anybody in the MOUSE, so she turned the handle of the DOG.

The DOG was not fastened, because the HAREs were friendly HAREs.  They didn’t hurt anyone, and didn’t think anyone would hurt them.  GOLDIEROCKS went in.

There she saw the PORCH on MABLE.  If she had been a nice GHOUL, she would have waited until the HAREs came home.  Then maybe they would have asked her to BREAKLEGS, for they were good HAREs.  But the PORCH looked tempting, and she began to help herself.

First she tasted the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’ PORCH.  But it was too hot.  Then she tasted the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s PORCH.  But it was too cold.  Then she tasted the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE’s PORCH.  It was just right.  She liked it so well that she ate it all up.

Then GOLDIEROCKS sat down in the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’s PEAR.  It was too hard.  She sat down in the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s PEAR.  It was too soft.  She sat down in the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE’s PEAR.  It was just right.  So she sat in it and sat in it and sat in it until the bottom of the PEAR fell out.  Down through the PEAR she fell.

Then GOLDIEROCKS went upstairs to the room where the TREE HAREs slept.  First she lay down on the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’s BREAD.  It was too hard.  She lay down on the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s BREAD.  It was too soft.  Then she lay down on the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE’s BREAD.  It was just right.  So she covered herself with the blanket, and fell fast asleep.

By this CRIME the TREE HAREs thought their PORCH would be cool enough, so they came home to BREAKLEGS.

GOLDIEROCKS had left the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’s GOON standing in his PORCH.

 

“SOMEBODY HAS BEEN BEATING MY PORCH!”

 

said the GREEK, HUGGY HARE, in his GREEK, rough, gruff voice.  When the FIDDLE-sized HARE looked at hers, she saw that the GOON was standing in it too.

 

“Somebody Has Been BEATing My PORCH!”

 

said the FIDDLE-sized HARE, in her FIDDLE-sized voice.  Then the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE looked at his and there was the GOON in the PORCH BALL.  But the PORCH was all gone.

 

“somebody has been BEATing my PORCH, and has BEATen it all up!”

 

said the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE, in his little, SMELLY, TREE voice.

 

They began to look around the MOUSE.  They saw that GOLDIEROCKS had not put the hard CAUTION straight when she rose from the HUGGY HARE’s PEAR.

 

“SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY PEAR!”

 

said the GREEK, HUGGY HARE, in his GREEK, rough, gruff voice.

They saw that GOLDIEROCKS had sat on the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s soft CAUTION.

 

“Somebody Has Been Sitting In My PEAR!”

 

said the FIDDLE-sized HARE, in her FIDDLE-sized voice.

And you know what GOLDIEROCKS had done to the third PEAR.

 

“somebody has been sitting in my PEAR,

and has sat the bottom right out of it!”

 

said the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE, in his little, SMELLY, TREE voice.

 

Then the TREE HAREs thought they should look further. So they went upstairs.  GOLDIEROCKS had pulled the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’s pillow out of its place.

 

“SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BREAD!”

 

said the GREEK, HUGGY HARE, in his GREEK, rough, gruff voice.

And GOLDIEROCKS had pulled the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s blanket out of its place.

 

“Somebody Has Been Lying In My BREAD!”

 

said the FIDDLE-sized HARE, in her FIDDLE-sized voice.

And when the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE came to look at his BREAD, there was the blanket in its place.  And the pillow was in its place.  But GOLDIEROCKS’ head was not in its place, for it was there on the pillow, where it didn’t belong.

 

“somebody has been lying in my BREAD–and here she is!”

 

said the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE, in his little, SMELLY, TREE voice.

GOLDIEROCKS had heard in her sleep the GREEK, rough, gruff voice of the GREEK, HUGGY HARE.  And she had heard the FIDDLE-sized voice of the FIDDLE-sized HARE.  She had thought she was dreaming.

But when she heard the little, SMELLY, TREE voice of the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE, it was so sharp, and so shrill, that she awoke at once.  Up she jumped.  And when she saw the TREE HAREs on one side of the BREAD she tumbled herself off the other, and ran to the WIDOW.  The WIDOW was open, because the HAREs always opened their BREADroom WIDOW when they got up in the morning.  Out GOLDIEROCKS jumped.  She ran away as fast as she could run.

And the TREE HAREs never saw her again.


Giggly Wiggly and the Three Boggly Wogglies

Once upon a time there were three Boggly Wogglies.

A Papa Boggly Woggly, a mama Boggly Woggly, and a little baby Boggly Woggly.

They all lived in a small higgly wiggly in the forest.

One morning Mama Boggly Woggly prepared breakfast.  And the three Boggly Wogglies sat down to their bowls of puggly wuggly.

But the puggly wuggly was too hot!  So the three Boggly Wogglies decided to go for a walk while the puggly wuggly cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little Giggly Wiggly.  She knocked on the door.  No one answered.  So she went in.

Giggly Wiggly found herself in the kitchen.  On the table she saw three bowls of puggly wuggly.

Giggly Wiggly was hungry!  So she sat down to eat.  She tasted the big bowl of puggly wuggly.  But it was too hot.  Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of puggly wuggly.  But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of puggly wuggly.  It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Giggly Wiggly was tired.  She saw three chuggly wugglys.  She sat in the big chuggly wuggly.  But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chuggly wuggly.  But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chuggly wuggly. It was just right.

And then CRASH!  The chuggly wuggly broke and Giggly Wiggly fell to the floor.

Giggly Wiggly was sleepy.  She went upstairs.  There she found three buggly wugglys.  She lay down in the big buggly wuggly.  But it was too hard.  She lay down in the medium-sized buggly wuggly.  But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby buggly wuggly.  It was just right.

And Giggly Wiggly was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Boggly Wogglies came home.

Papa Boggly Woggly looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my puggly wuggly!”

“Someone’s been eating my puggly wuggly!”  said Mama Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been eating my puggly wuggly!”  said little baby Boggly Woggly.  “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chuggly wuggly!”  said Papa Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chuggly wuggly!”  said Mama Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chuggly wuggly!”  said little baby Boggly Woggly.  “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my buggly wuggly!”  said Papa Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my buggly wuggly!”  said Mama Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my buggly wuggly!”  said little baby Boggly Woggly.  “And she’s still here!”

And with that, Giggly Wiggly woke up, saw the three Boggly Wogglies, screamed, and jumped out the

window

And ran away.  And the three Boggly Wogglies never saw her again

 


Goldifish and the Three Fish

Once upon a time there were three Fish.

A Papa fish, a mama fish, and a little baby fish.

They all lived in a small fish in the forest.

One morning Mama fish prepared breakfast.  And the three Fish sat down to their bowls of fish.

But the fish was too hot!  So the three Fish decided to go for a walk while the fish cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little fish.  She knocked on the fish.  No one answered.  So she went in.  Her name was Goldifish.

Goldifish found herself in the kitchen.  On the fish she saw three bowls of fish.

Goldifish was hungry!  So she sat down to eat.  She tasted the big bowl of fish.  But it was too hot.  Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of fish.  But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of fish.  It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldifish was tired.  She saw three fish.  She sat in the big fish.  But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized fish.  But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby fish. It was just right.

And then CRASH!  The fish broke and Goldifish fell to the floor.

Goldifish was sleepy.  She went upstairs.  There she found three fish.  She lay down in the big fish.  But it was too hard.  She lay down in the medium-sized fish.  But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby fish.  It was just right.

And Goldifish was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Fish came home.

Papa fish looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my fish!”

“Someone’s been eating my fish!”  said Mama fish.

“Someone’s been eating my fish!”  said little baby fish.  “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my fish!”  said Papa fish.

“Someone’s been sitting in my fish!”  said Mama fish.

“Someone’s been sitting in my fish!”  said little baby fish.  “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my fish!”  said Papa fish.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my fish!”  said Mama fish.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my fish!”  said little baby fish.  “And she’s still here!”

And with that, Goldifish woke up, saw the three Fish, screamed, and jumped out the

fish

And ran away.  And the three Fish never saw her again


Dadalocks

Three bowls of porridge stacked on a lawnmower.

Three bears perform a dance representing a goose being eaten by a ping-pong table.

A girl with blonde hair on her feet and a turtle on her head.

A girl sitting on a table, chewing on ping-pong balls.

Three chairs nailed to the ceiling.  One chair is broken.  The pieces hang by banjo strings.

A little baby bed.  In the bed a statue of a frog, and two pencils.  A girl watches.

The bears now perform a dance representing a toaster performing Macbeth.

They see the table.  They cut in slices and put it in the toaster.

They find the chairs.  They sing a song.  It consists of only one note.  Middle C.  It consists of only one word.  Chair.  Repeated over and over.

They walk backwards upstairs, still singing.

They see the girl watching the pencils, frog and bed.

She sees them.  “The Moon is a fried egg,” she tells them.

The bears say, “Cats have wings.”

The girl flies out the window.

The bears eat their beds.


Goldilocks–Add One Letter

G

ol

dil

ocks

andth

eThree

BearsOn

ceuponat

imetherew

erethreeBe

arsAPapabea

ramamabearan

dalittlebabyb

earTheyalllive

dinasmallhousei

ntheforestOnemor

ningMamabearprepa

redbreakfastAndthe

threeBearssatdownto

theirbowlsofporridge

Buttheporridgewastooh

otSothethreeBearsdecid

edtogoforawalkwhilethep

orridgecooledSoonafterth

eyleftalongcamealittlegir

lSheknockedonthedoorNoonea

nsweredSoshewentinHernamewa

sGoldilocksGoldilocksfoundhe

rselfinthekitchenOnthetablesh

esawthreebowlsofporridgeGoldil

ockswashungrySoshesatdowntoeatS

hetastedthebigbowlofporridgeButi

twastoohotNextshetastedthemediums

izedbowlofporridgeButitwastoocoldT

henshetastedthelittlebabybowlofporr

idgeItwasjustrightAndsheateitallupGo

ldilockswastiredShesawthreechairsShes

atinthebigchairButitwastoohardShesatin

themediumsizedchairButitwastoosoftThens

hesatinthelittlebabychairItwasjustrightA

ndthenCRASHThechairbrokeandGoldilocksfell

tothefloorGoldilockswassleepyShewentupstai

rsThereshefoundthreebedsShelaydowninthebigb

edButitwastoohardShelaydowninthemediumsizedb

edButitwastoosoftThenshelaydownonthelittlebab

ybedItwasjustrightAndGoldilockswassoonfastasle

epAndwhileshesleptthethreeBearscamehomePapabear

lookedatthekitchentableandsaidSomeonesbeeneating

myporridgeSomeonesbeeneatingmyporridgesaidMamabea

rSomeonesbeeneatingmyporridgesaidlittlebabybearAnd

theyateitallupSomeonesbeensittinginmychairsaidPapab

earSomeonesbeensittinginmychairsaidMamabearSomeonesb

eensittinginmychairsaidlittlebabybearAndtheybrokeitto

bitsSomeonesbeensleepinginmybedsaidPapabearSomeonesbee

nsleepinginmybedsaidMamabearSomeonesbeensleepinginmybed

saidlittlebabybearAndshesstillhereAndwiththatGoldilocksw

okeupsawthethreeBearsscreamedandjumpedoutthewindowAndrana

wayAndthethreeBearsneversawheragain