Twisted Ending

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast.  And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot!  So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl.  She knocked on the door.  No one answered.  So she went in.  Her name was Goldilocks.

Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen.  On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Goldilocks was hungry!  So she sat down to eat.  She tasted the big bowl of porridge.  But it was too hot.  Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of porridge.  But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of porridge.  It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldilocks was tired.  She saw three chairs.  She sat in the big chair.  But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chair.  But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then CRASH!  The chair broke and Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Goldilocks was sleepy.  She went upstairs.  There she found three beds.  She lay down in the big bed.  But it was too hard.  She lay down in the medium-sized bed.  But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby bed.  It was just right.

And Goldilocks was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my porridge!”

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!”  said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!”  said little baby bear.  “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!”  said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!”  said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!”  said little baby bear.  “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!”  said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!”  said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!”  said little baby bear.  “And she’s still here!”

And with that, Goldilocks woke up, saw the three Bears, smiled…

…and ate them.

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Goldilocks and the Window

When Goldilocks saw the window, she couldn’t resist.

She climbed right up and into it.

But declining made her tired.  So she looked around.  There were three beds.

She lay down the little bed.  It was just right.  It was too right.  Thinking about how right it was kept her from falling asleep.

She climbed on the middle sized bed.  It was too soft.

She climbed on the big bed.  It was hard.  But her back had been hurting her, and hare was what she needed.

She soon fell asleep.

When she woke up, she climbed down from the bad, made the three beds up, then went exploring.

In the living room she found three chairs.  She wasn’t tired, so she didn’t need to sit down.

But she saw that the little chair was broken.  “How sad!” she said.

She couldn’t just leave it like that, so she fixed the chair.

It was as good as new.

In the kitchen she saw three empty bowls sitting on the table.

They looked too empty.  Whoever lived in this house would appreciate a nice hot meal when they came home.

So Goldilocks cooked up a batch of her famous porridge, and filled each bowl.

Then she did some straightening, some mopping, some dusting, some sweeping.  And when the house was perfect, she headed out into the forest and home.

Not long later, the three Bears came home.

“Somebody’s been cooking me porridge!” said Papa Bear

“Somebody’s been cooking me porridge!”  said Mama Bear.

“Yum! Porridge!” said Baby Bear.  And he ate it all up.

“Somebody’s been sitting in my chair!”  said Papa Bear.

“Somebody’s been sitting in my chair!”  said Mama Bear.

“Somebody fixed my chair!”  said Baby Bear.

They went looking to find who had done the cooking, who had done the fixing.

“Somebody’s been sleeping in my bed,” said Papa Bear.

“Somebody’s been sleeping in my bed,” said Mama Bear.

“Somebody made my bed!”  said Baby Bear. “And I hope she comes back soon!”

“Me too, baby bear,” said Mama Bear.  “Me too.”

A Happier Ending for Goldilocks and the Three Bears

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. She knocked on the door. No one answered. So she went in. Her name was Goldilocks.

Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen. On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Goldilocks was hungry! So she sat down to eat. She tasted the big bowl of porridge. But it was too hot. Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of porridge.

But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of porridge. It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldilocks was tired. She saw three chairs. She sat in the big chair. But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chair. But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then CRASH! The chair broke and Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Goldilocks was sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds. She lay down in the big bed. But it was too hard. She lay down in the medium-sized bed. But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby bed. It was just right.

And Goldilocks was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my porridge!”

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said little baby bear. “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said little baby bear. “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said little baby bear. “And she’s still here!”

And Goldilocks leapt from the bed, and tried to escape. But she was too slow. The three Bears jumped on her and ate her, leaving only the…

“I’m not publishing that!”

“Why not?”

“They ATE her! No one’s going to be happy with that!”

“This story isn’t about happiness. It’s about the tragedy of real life. It’s reality.”

“But people don’t like reality.”

“It’s good for them!”

“They won’t buy it! I won’t buy it. No one will buy it unless there’s a happy ending!”

“Okay… okay… how about this…”

And Goldilocks jumped out of bed, leapt out the window, and ran home.

And the three Bears never saw her again.

“Can’t we make it happier? Maybe discover that Goldilocks is their long-lost daughter?”

“They are Bears! She’s human! How could she be their long-lost daughter?”

“We could make her a bear too.”

“No! I have my integrity! If she’s a bear, where’s the conflict between man and nature?”

“I don’t care about messages, I care about sales! Come on, work with me. There’s got to be a happy ending in there somewhere.”

“I’m not changing a thing. The message has to be there. Besides, what do you want? The girl escapes and gets home. If you push me any farther, I’m taking this to Random House.”

“Oh, all right. The new ending stays. By the way, what’s your next story?”

“I call it Little Red Riding Hood.”

“And what happens in that story?”

“A grandma gets eaten by a wolf.”

“Oh brother….”

Goldilocks and the Cliff Hanger

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. She knocked on the door. No one answered. So she went in. Her name was Goldilocks.

Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen. On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Goldilocks was hungry! So she sat down to eat. She tasted the big bowl of porridge. But it was too hot. Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of porridge.

But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of porridge. It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldilocks was tired. She saw three chairs. She sat in the big chair. But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chair. But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then CRASH! The chair broke and Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Goldilocks was sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds. She lay down in the big bed. But it was too hard. She lay down in the medium-sized bed. But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby bed. It was just right.

And Goldilocks was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my porridge!”

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said little baby bear. “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said little baby bear. “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said little baby bear. “And she’s still here!”

Will Goldilocks escape the Bears?

Will the Bears eat Goldilocks?

Tune in next week for the thrilling conclusion of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”!

Goldilocks and the Spacey Ending

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. She knocked on the door. No one answered. So she went in. Her name was Goldilocks.

Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen. On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Goldilocks was hungry! So she sat down to eat. She tasted the big bowl of porridge. But it was too hot. Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of porridge.

But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of porridge. It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldilocks was tired. She saw three chairs. She sat in the big chair. But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chair. But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then CRASH! The chair broke and Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Goldilocks was sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds. She lay down in the big bed. But it was too hard. She lay down in the medium-sized bed. But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby bed. It was just right.

And Goldilocks was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my porridge!”

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said little baby bear. “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said little baby bear. “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said little baby bear. “And she’s still here!”

But before the Bears could eat Goldilocks, the earth was destroyed by a giant meteor.

The end.

Goldilocks and the Big Surprise

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. She knocked on the door. No one answered. So she went in. Her name was Goldilocks.

Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen. On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Goldilocks was hungry! So she sat down to eat. She tasted the big bowl of porridge. But it was too hot. Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of porridge.

But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of porridge. It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldilocks was tired. She saw three chairs. She sat in the big chair. But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chair. But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then CRASH! The chair broke and Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Goldilocks was sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds. She lay down in the big bed. But it was too hard. She lay down in the medium-sized bed. But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby bed. It was just right.

And Goldilocks was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my porridge!”

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“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said little baby bear. “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said little baby bear. “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said little baby bear. “And she’s still here!”

And with that, Goldilocks jumped up, pulled something from her pocket, and handed it to Papa Bear. “Papa Bear, you’ve been served.”

“Oh darn!” said Papa Bear. “Time to flee the country.”

And out the window he leapt.

And they never saw him again.

The Three Bears’ Porridge

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

The porridge was delicious!

And soon it was all gone.

The end.