Category Archives: Just Silly

The Story of the TREE HAREs

Once upon a CRIME there were TREE HAREs.  They lived together in a MOUSE of their own in the FLORIST.  One of them was a little, SMELLY, TREE HARE.  One was a FIDDLE-sized HARE.  And one was a GREEK, HUGGY HARE.

They each had a BALL for their PORCH.  The little, SMELLY, TREE HARE had a little BALL.  The FIDDLE-sized HARE had a FIDDLE-sized BALL.  The GREEK, HUGGY HARE had a HUGGY BALL.

They each had a PEAR to sit in.  The little, SMELLY, TREE HARE had a little PEAR.  The FIDDLE-sized HARE had a FIDDLE-sized PEAR.  The GREEK, HUGGY HARE had a HUGGY PEAR.

And they each had BREAD to sleep in.  The little, SMELLY, TREE HARE had little BREAD.  The FIDDLE-sized HARE had FIDDLE-sized BREAD.  The GREEK, HUGGY HARE had HUGGY BREAD.

One day, they made the PORCH for their BREAKLEGS, and poured it into their PORCH BALLs.  Then they walked out into the FLORIST while the PORCH was cooling.

While they were walking, a little GHOUL called GOLDIEROCKS came to the MOUSE.  First she looked in at the WIDOW.  Then she peeped in at the keyhole.  She didn’t see anybody in the MOUSE, so she turned the handle of the DOG.

The DOG was not fastened, because the HAREs were friendly HAREs.  They didn’t hurt anyone, and didn’t think anyone would hurt them.  GOLDIEROCKS went in.

There she saw the PORCH on MABLE.  If she had been a nice GHOUL, she would have waited until the HAREs came home.  Then maybe they would have asked her to BREAKLEGS, for they were good HAREs.  But the PORCH looked tempting, and she began to help herself.

First she tasted the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’ PORCH.  But it was too hot.  Then she tasted the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s PORCH.  But it was too cold.  Then she tasted the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE’s PORCH.  It was just right.  She liked it so well that she ate it all up.

Then GOLDIEROCKS sat down in the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’s PEAR.  It was too hard.  She sat down in the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s PEAR.  It was too soft.  She sat down in the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE’s PEAR.  It was just right.  So she sat in it and sat in it and sat in it until the bottom of the PEAR fell out.  Down through the PEAR she fell.

Then GOLDIEROCKS went upstairs to the room where the TREE HAREs slept.  First she lay down on the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’s BREAD.  It was too hard.  She lay down on the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s BREAD.  It was too soft.  Then she lay down on the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE’s BREAD.  It was just right.  So she covered herself with the blanket, and fell fast asleep.

By this CRIME the TREE HAREs thought their PORCH would be cool enough, so they came home to BREAKLEGS.

GOLDIEROCKS had left the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’s GOON standing in his PORCH.

 

“SOMEBODY HAS BEEN BEATING MY PORCH!”

 

said the GREEK, HUGGY HARE, in his GREEK, rough, gruff voice.  When the FIDDLE-sized HARE looked at hers, she saw that the GOON was standing in it too.

 

“Somebody Has Been BEATing My PORCH!”

 

said the FIDDLE-sized HARE, in her FIDDLE-sized voice.  Then the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE looked at his and there was the GOON in the PORCH BALL.  But the PORCH was all gone.

 

“somebody has been BEATing my PORCH, and has BEATen it all up!”

 

said the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE, in his little, SMELLY, TREE voice.

 

They began to look around the MOUSE.  They saw that GOLDIEROCKS had not put the hard CAUTION straight when she rose from the HUGGY HARE’s PEAR.

 

“SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY PEAR!”

 

said the GREEK, HUGGY HARE, in his GREEK, rough, gruff voice.

They saw that GOLDIEROCKS had sat on the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s soft CAUTION.

 

“Somebody Has Been Sitting In My PEAR!”

 

said the FIDDLE-sized HARE, in her FIDDLE-sized voice.

And you know what GOLDIEROCKS had done to the third PEAR.

 

“somebody has been sitting in my PEAR,

and has sat the bottom right out of it!”

 

said the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE, in his little, SMELLY, TREE voice.

 

Then the TREE HAREs thought they should look further. So they went upstairs.  GOLDIEROCKS had pulled the GREEK, HUGGY HARE’s pillow out of its place.

 

“SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BREAD!”

 

said the GREEK, HUGGY HARE, in his GREEK, rough, gruff voice.

And GOLDIEROCKS had pulled the FIDDLE-sized HARE’s blanket out of its place.

 

“Somebody Has Been Lying In My BREAD!”

 

said the FIDDLE-sized HARE, in her FIDDLE-sized voice.

And when the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE came to look at his BREAD, there was the blanket in its place.  And the pillow was in its place.  But GOLDIEROCKS’ head was not in its place, for it was there on the pillow, where it didn’t belong.

 

“somebody has been lying in my BREAD–and here she is!”

 

said the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE, in his little, SMELLY, TREE voice.

GOLDIEROCKS had heard in her sleep the GREEK, rough, gruff voice of the GREEK, HUGGY HARE.  And she had heard the FIDDLE-sized voice of the FIDDLE-sized HARE.  She had thought she was dreaming.

But when she heard the little, SMELLY, TREE voice of the little, SMELLY, TREE HARE, it was so sharp, and so shrill, that she awoke at once.  Up she jumped.  And when she saw the TREE HAREs on one side of the BREAD she tumbled herself off the other, and ran to the WIDOW.  The WIDOW was open, because the HAREs always opened their BREADroom WIDOW when they got up in the morning.  Out GOLDIEROCKS jumped.  She ran away as fast as she could run.

And the TREE HAREs never saw her again.


Giggly Wiggly and the Three Boggly Wogglies

Once upon a time there were three Boggly Wogglies.

A Papa Boggly Woggly, a mama Boggly Woggly, and a little baby Boggly Woggly.

They all lived in a small higgly wiggly in the forest.

One morning Mama Boggly Woggly prepared breakfast.  And the three Boggly Wogglies sat down to their bowls of puggly wuggly.

But the puggly wuggly was too hot!  So the three Boggly Wogglies decided to go for a walk while the puggly wuggly cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little Giggly Wiggly.  She knocked on the door.  No one answered.  So she went in.

Giggly Wiggly found herself in the kitchen.  On the table she saw three bowls of puggly wuggly.

Giggly Wiggly was hungry!  So she sat down to eat.  She tasted the big bowl of puggly wuggly.  But it was too hot.  Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of puggly wuggly.  But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of puggly wuggly.  It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Giggly Wiggly was tired.  She saw three chuggly wugglys.  She sat in the big chuggly wuggly.  But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chuggly wuggly.  But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chuggly wuggly. It was just right.

And then CRASH!  The chuggly wuggly broke and Giggly Wiggly fell to the floor.

Giggly Wiggly was sleepy.  She went upstairs.  There she found three buggly wugglys.  She lay down in the big buggly wuggly.  But it was too hard.  She lay down in the medium-sized buggly wuggly.  But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby buggly wuggly.  It was just right.

And Giggly Wiggly was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Boggly Wogglies came home.

Papa Boggly Woggly looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my puggly wuggly!”

“Someone’s been eating my puggly wuggly!”  said Mama Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been eating my puggly wuggly!”  said little baby Boggly Woggly.  “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chuggly wuggly!”  said Papa Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chuggly wuggly!”  said Mama Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chuggly wuggly!”  said little baby Boggly Woggly.  “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my buggly wuggly!”  said Papa Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my buggly wuggly!”  said Mama Boggly Woggly.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my buggly wuggly!”  said little baby Boggly Woggly.  “And she’s still here!”

And with that, Giggly Wiggly woke up, saw the three Boggly Wogglies, screamed, and jumped out the

window

And ran away.  And the three Boggly Wogglies never saw her again

 


Goldifish and the Three Fish

Once upon a time there were three Fish.

A Papa fish, a mama fish, and a little baby fish.

They all lived in a small fish in the forest.

One morning Mama fish prepared breakfast.  And the three Fish sat down to their bowls of fish.

But the fish was too hot!  So the three Fish decided to go for a walk while the fish cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little fish.  She knocked on the fish.  No one answered.  So she went in.  Her name was Goldifish.

Goldifish found herself in the kitchen.  On the fish she saw three bowls of fish.

Goldifish was hungry!  So she sat down to eat.  She tasted the big bowl of fish.  But it was too hot.  Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of fish.  But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of fish.  It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldifish was tired.  She saw three fish.  She sat in the big fish.  But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized fish.  But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby fish. It was just right.

And then CRASH!  The fish broke and Goldifish fell to the floor.

Goldifish was sleepy.  She went upstairs.  There she found three fish.  She lay down in the big fish.  But it was too hard.  She lay down in the medium-sized fish.  But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby fish.  It was just right.

And Goldifish was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Fish came home.

Papa fish looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my fish!”

“Someone’s been eating my fish!”  said Mama fish.

“Someone’s been eating my fish!”  said little baby fish.  “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my fish!”  said Papa fish.

“Someone’s been sitting in my fish!”  said Mama fish.

“Someone’s been sitting in my fish!”  said little baby fish.  “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my fish!”  said Papa fish.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my fish!”  said Mama fish.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my fish!”  said little baby fish.  “And she’s still here!”

And with that, Goldifish woke up, saw the three Fish, screamed, and jumped out the

fish

And ran away.  And the three Fish never saw her again


Dadalocks

Three bowls of porridge stacked on a lawnmower.

Three bears perform a dance representing a goose being eaten by a ping-pong table.

A girl with blonde hair on her feet and a turtle on her head.

A girl sitting on a table, chewing on ping-pong balls.

Three chairs nailed to the ceiling.  One chair is broken.  The pieces hang by banjo strings.

A little baby bed.  In the bed a statue of a frog, and two pencils.  A girl watches.

The bears now perform a dance representing a toaster performing Macbeth.

They see the table.  They cut in slices and put it in the toaster.

They find the chairs.  They sing a song.  It consists of only one note.  Middle C.  It consists of only one word.  Chair.  Repeated over and over.

They walk backwards upstairs, still singing.

They see the girl watching the pencils, frog and bed.

She sees them.  “The Moon is a fried egg,” she tells them.

The bears say, “Cats have wings.”

The girl flies out the window.

The bears eat their beds.


Why Goldilocks and the Three Bears Doesn’t Exist Today

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. She knocked on the door. No one answered. So she went in. Her name was Goldilocks.

Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen. On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Goldilocks was hungry! So she sat down to eat. She tasted the big bowl of porridge. But it was too hot. Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of porridge.

But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of porridge. It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldilocks was tired. She saw three chairs. She sat in the big chair. But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chair. But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then CRASH! The chair broke and Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Goldilocks was sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds. She lay down in the big bed. But it was too hard. She lay down in the medium-sized bed. But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby bed. It was just right.

And Goldilocks was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my porridge!”

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said little baby bear. “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said little baby bear. “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said little baby bear. “And she’s still here!”

But before the Bears could eat Goldilocks, the author had to go get a snack from his garden. While he was there, a goat ate the manuscript. And when the writer returned, and found his story missing, he gave up, and never did finish the story.

And that’s why the Story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears does not exist today.


Spoked Quickly Into Voice Recognition Software

Once upon a time there are three Bears.

A public, Mama bear, and little baby bear.

Ballot in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porch was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the Porsche cool.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. She knocked on the door. No one answered. So she went in. Her name is Goldilocks.

Coto ox found yourself in the kitchen. On a table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Colossus hungry! So she sat down to eat. She tasted the big bowl of porridge. It was too hot. Neck she tasted the medium-size bowl of porridge.

But it was too cold.

Thank you Jason Little baby bowl of porridge. It was just right.

And she fell out.

Gloss is tired. She saw three shares. She sat in a chair. It was too hard.

She sat in the medium-size chair. It was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then crash! The chair broken Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Lots of sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds. She laid out in the big bed. It was too hard. She laid out in the medium-size head. But it was too soft.

And she lay down a little baby bed. It was just right.

And Goldilocks is in fast asleep.

And while she slept for three Bears came home.

Papa bear look at the kitchen table and said “someone’s been eating my porridge is?”

“I was beating my porridge!” Said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” Said will be there.

And it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” Said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” Said, bear.

“Some of this sitting in my chair!” And little baby bear. “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” Said Papa bear.

“Some of this sitting in my bed!” Said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed is?” I will be there. “Is she still here!”

And with that, Goldilocks woke up, some three Bears, screened comment jumped out the window

And runaway. And the three Bears never saw her again.