Original Goldilocks

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. She knocked on the door. No one answered. So she went in. Her name was Goldilocks.

Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen. On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Goldilocks was hungry! So she sat down to eat. She tasted the big bowl of porridge. But it was too hot. Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of porridge. But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of porridge. It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldilocks was tired. She saw three chairs. She sat in the big chair. But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chair. But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then CRASH! The chair broke and Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Goldilocks was sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds. She lay down in the big bed. But it was too hard. She lay down in the medium-sized bed. But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby bed. It was just right.

And Goldilocks was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, “Someone’s been eating my porridge!”

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge!” said little baby bear. “And they ate it all up!”

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” said little baby bear. “And they broke it to bits!”

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Papa bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said Mama bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said little baby bear. “And she’s still here!”

And with that, Goldilocks woke up, saw the three Bears, screamed, and jumped out the window

And ran away. And the three Bears never saw her again.

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Little Red Hen and the Three Bears

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came Little Red Hen.

“Who will knock on this door?” said Little Red Hen.

But no one would. “Then I will knock on this door myself.” And she did.

No one answered. So she went in.

Little Red Hen found herself in the kitchen. On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

“Who will help me eat this porridge?” said Little Red Hen.

“Not I,” said nobody.

“Then I will eat the porridge all by myself.” And she did.

Little Red Hen saw three chairs. “Who will sit in these chairs with me?” she asked.

But there was no answer.

So she sat on the chairs herself.

And then CRASH! The chair broke and Little Red Hen fell to the floor.

“Who will help me up off the floor?” she asked.

But no one would help her.

So she got up off the floor herself.

Little Red Hen was sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds.

She lay down on the little baby bed. “Who will tuck me in?” she asked.

No one would. No one did.

So Little Red Hen tucked herself in.

And she was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, “Who’s been eating my porridge?”

“Not I,” said Mama bear.

“Not I,” said little baby bear.

“Who’s been sitting in my chair!” said Papa bear.

“Not I!” said Mama bear.

“Not I!” said little baby bear.

“Who’s been sleeping in my bed?” said Papa bear.

“Not I” said Mama bear.

“Not I” said little baby bear. “And who will help me eat this chicken I found?”

“Not I!” said Little Red Hen. And she jumped out the window.

And who saw Little Red Hen again?

“Not I,” said Papa bear.

“Not I,” said Mama bear.

“Not I,” said baby bear.


Ogden Nash’s Goldilocks

She smelled from far away the sweet warm porridge,

But first, to reach it, the matter of closed dooridge.

She was able

To break in the door, and reach the table

Where she swallowed each bowl

whole.

Then she discovered where

There was a chair

That was first too hard, then too soft, then just right. She sat and sat.

Kersplat!

The chair was flat.

Oh dear!

She was flat on her rear.

She thought about it, and wondered whether she should cry. But instead,

She decided to go to bed.

One was hard. One was soft. One was just right.

Goodnight.

Home came the Bears.

They saw the porridge and chairs.

And there, at the head

Of a bed,

A young girl, hair blonde.

Zip, leap… gone.


Goldilocks and the 12 Points of View

Mama Bear

Donuts! I make a delicious, healthy porridge for breakfast, and Baby Bear says he wants doughnuts!

And Papa Bear! Humph! He says, “Great idea! Let’s get donuts!”

I’m outnumbered, so I say, “We can get donuts if you come back and eat your porridge!”

And they will.

Or else.

 

The Door

I don’t open for just anyone.

I’m rather picky.

But she looks sweet. And the bear’s weren’t home, so when she knocked on me, I opened.

She seems very nice.

 

The Porridge

It’s about time someone ate me.

I’ve been sitting here, for a long time, growing cold.

But now I have fulfilled my destiny, thanks to that girl.

Though she could work on her manners.

What a slob!

 

The Chair

She jumped on me!

She climbed on the cabinet and jumped on me!

Look at me! Where are my arms? My arms! Where are my arms!

She broke me!

That girl broke me!

I’m going to report her to the Federal Chair Commission.

I want her sitting license taken away!

And her jumping license!

 

The Stairs

You’re not a bear!

You’re not allowed up here.

Stop! Don’t!

You’re going to get in trou—-ble!

 

The House

Finally! They’re back!

Soon everything will be okay.

I told you, Door.

You have to stop being so trusting.

 

Baby Bear

Do I have to eat the…..

look, Mama! I ate it all!

Really fast!

Can I have another donut?

Or three or four?

 

The Mama Chair

My Baby! My Baby!

Papa bear! Mama bear!

Look what she did to my baby!

 

The Baby Bear’s Bed

No! Not out the window!

Why would you want to throw me out the window?

HELP!

 

Papa Bear

GROWWWWWLLLLLLL!

 

The Forest Ranger

I was walking past the bear’s house, when out their window flew a mattress, followed by a blonde girl, about 4’2″ tall. I grabbed her, took her with me to talk to the Bears, then I arrested her, name, Goldilocks, and booked her on charges of breaking and entering, vandalism, and robbery.

 

Goldilocks

Mama bear, I’ve come to apologize for breaking into your house.

I had time to think about it in jail, and I realized I was wrong.

And Mama bear, just one more question–can I have some more of that porridge? That’s the best thing I’ve ever read!

(Last wordless scene: Mama bear and Goldilocks are having breakfast. Baby Bear and Papa bear were kicked out for the day.


Walt Whitman’s Goldilocks

I hear the song of bears, strong bears, family bears.

I hear them sing of porridge, with steam rising from carved bowls.

I hear them sing of walking, on forest paths, past the beasts who hide in invalid fear.

I hear them sing of home, the return home, with hope of perfect breakfast.

I hear them sing of empty bowls of lost dreams.

I hear them sing of broken chairs, of dashed hopes.

I hear them sing of occupied beds, heavy with invading sleep.

And then one last song, a sign of shock, or discovery

And then silence.

And then a song of windows and girls

And then a song of wonder.


Goldilocks Knocks

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. Her name was Goldilocks.

She knocked on the door.

There was no answer.

Oh dear, she thought. I’ve missed them again. “I’ll come another time when they’re home,” she told herself.

And on her way she went, through the forest, and home.


Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Oh Yeah

Once upon a time

Oh yeah

there were three Bears.

Oh yeah

A Papa and a mama bear,

Oh yeah

and a little baby bear.

Oh yeah

They lived in a small house

Oh yeah

in the forest.

Oh yeah

One morning Mama

Oh yeah

Made some breakfast.

Oh yeah

And the bears sat down to

Oh yeah

their bowls of porridge.

Oh yeah

But the porridge was hot!

Oh yeah

So they went for a walk

Oh yeah

while the porridge cooled.

Oh yeah

Soon after they left,

Oh yeah

along came a girl.

Oh yeah

She knocked on the door.

Oh yeah.

But no one answered.

Oh yeah

So she went in.

Oh yeah

Her name was Goldilocks.

Oh yeah

Goldilocks found herself

Oh yeah

in the kitchen.

Oh yeah

On the table

were bowls of porridge.

Oh yeah

Goldilocks was hungry!

Oh yeah

She sat down to eat.

Oh yeah

She tasted from the big bowl.

Oh yeah

But it was too hot.

Oh yeah

She tasted from the middle bowl.

Oh yeah

But it was too cold.

Oh yeah

She tasted from the little bowl.

Oh yeah

And it was just right.

Oh yeah

She ate it all up.

Oh yeah

Goldilocks was tired.

Oh yeah

She saw three chairs.

Oh yeah

She sat in the big chair.

Oh yeah

But it was too hard.

Oh yeah

She sat in the middle chair.

Oh yeah

But it was too soft.

Oh yeah

Then she sat in the little chair.

Oh yeah

It was just right.

Oh yeah

And then CRASH! It broke!

Oh yeah

and Goldilocks fell.

Oh yeah

Now she was sleepy.

Oh yeah

She went upstairs.

Oh yeah

She found three beds.

Oh yeah

She lay in the big bed.

Oh yeah

But it was too hard.

Oh yeah

She lay in the middle bed.

Oh yeah

But it was too soft.

Oh yeah

She lay on the baby bed.

Oh yeah

It was just right.

Oh yeah

And Goldilocks

Oh yeah

was soon fast asleep.

Oh yeah

And while she slept

Oh yeah

the Bears came home.

Oh yeah

Papa bear looked

Oh yeah

at the kitchen table.

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been eating from

Oh yeah

my bowl of porridge!”

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been eating from

Oh yeah

my bowl of porridge!”

Oh yeah

said Mama bear.

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been eating from

Oh yeah

my bowl of porridge!”

Oh yeah

said little baby bear.

Oh yeah

“And they ate it up!”

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been sitting

Oh yeah

in my chair!”

Oh yeah

said Papa bear.

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been sitting

Oh yeah

in my chair!”

Oh yeah

said Mama bear.

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been sitting

Oh yeah

in my chair!”

Oh yeah

said baby bear.

Oh yeah

“And they broke it to bits!”

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been sleeping

Oh yeah

in my bed!”

Oh yeah

said Papa bear.

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been sleeping

Oh yeah

in my bed!”

Oh yeah

said Mama bear.

Oh yeah

“Someone’s been sleeping

Oh yeah

in my bed!”

Oh yeah

said baby bear.

Oh yeah

“And she’s still here!”

Oh yeah

And with that,

Oh yeah

Goldilocks woke up,

Oh yeah

saw the three Bears,

Oh yeah

screamed, and jumped

Oh yeah

out the window

Oh yeah

And ran away.

Oh yeah

And the three Bears

Oh yeah

never saw her again.

Oh yeah


Chicken Pox and the Three Bears

Once upon a time there were three healthy bears who lived in a house of their own in the woods.  There was an itty bitty Baby Bear, a middle-sized Mama Bear, and a powerfully big Papa Bear.

Every morning they took their vitamins, and then ate a healthy breakfast of whole wheat porridge.

One morning Mama Bear had cooked the porridge extra hot, to make sure all the germs were dead.  And while the porridge cooled, the three bears decided to take a walk, because there’s nothing like a good walk before breakfast to keep you healthy.

While they were on their walk, Chicken Pox, a sick little chick who lived, barely, around the corner, came up to their door, hoping to borrow some medicine.

Chicken Pox knocked weakly.  There was no answer.  Even if the bears had been home, though, there wouldn’t have been an answer because the bears wouldn’t have heard the knock.

Chicken Pox knocked again.  No answer.

She called out, in a voice almost as loud as a whisper, “hello…is anyone home?”

No one answered.  So Chicken Pox decided she’d go in and see if she could find the medicine herself.

She pushed hard on the door and slowly it opened.

Chicken Pox walked into the house.

There, in front of her was a table with three bowls on it.  “Could that be medicine?” she asked.

She climbed up on the itty bitty chair and looked in the itty bitty bowl.  “That doesn’t look like medicine,” she said, and she sneezed an itty bitty sneeze into the itty bitty bowl.

She climbed from the itty bitty chair to the middle-sized chair and looked in middle-sized bowl.  “That doesn’t look like medicine either,” she said, and she sneezed a middle-sized sneeze into the middle-sized bowl.

She climbed from the middle-sized chair to the powerfully big chair and looked in the powerfully big bowl.  “That doesn’t look like medicine either,” she said, and she sneezed a powerfully big sneeze into the powerfully big bowl.

All that climbing and sneezing had made Chicken Pox tired.  She climbed down from the powerfully big chair and looked for a place to rest.

There, in the next room, she found three soft chairs.  Maybe one of those would do, she thought.

She climbed into the itty bitty soft chair.  But it was only an itty bitty bit soft.  Not soft enough for Chicken Pox.

She climbed into the middle-sized soft chair.  But it was only a middle-sized bit soft.  Not soft enough for Chicken Pox.

She climbed into the powerfully big soft chair.  It had powerfully big softness, much too much softness for Chicken Pox.

Now Chicken Pox was very tired.  She needed a place to lie down and get some rest.

“Here I’ll get some rest,” she said when she entered the back room where the three bears slept.

She climbed onto the itty bitty bed.  She wiggled, she turned, she twisted, but she could only get an itty bitty bit comfortable.

She climbed onto the middle-sized bed.  She wiggled, she turned, she twisted, but she could only get a middle-sized bit comfortable.

She climbed onto the powerfully big bed.  She wiggled, she turned, she twisted, and finally, she found a position where a powerfully big comfort settled over her, and she fell asleep.

After a while the three bears came home.  The sat in their three kitchen chairs and ate their three bowls of porridge.

“My porridge tasted an itty bitty bit funny,” said the itty bitty Baby bear, and he sneezed an itty bitty sneeze.

“My porridge tasted a middle-sized bit funny,” said the middle-sized Mama bear, and she sneezed a middle-sized sneeze.

“My porridge tasted powerfully funny,” said the powerfully big Papa Bear, and he sneezed a powerfully big sneeze.

For some strange reason, even after taking their vitamins, going on a healthy walk, and eating a wholesome breakfast, the three bears were tired.

“Maybe we should sit down,” they said.

The itty bitty Baby Bear sat down in his itty bitty soft chair.

The middle-sized Mama Bear sat down in her middle-sized soft chair.

The powerfully big Papa Bear sat down in his powerfully big soft chair.

And then the Baby Bear started to scratch.

And the Mama Bear started to scratch.

And the Papa Bear started to scratch.

They scratched itty bitty itches, and middle-sized itches and powerfully big itches.

“Look!” said the Mama Bear.  “We’re breaking out in spots!”

“Oh,” said the Baby Bear.  “I’m not feeling well.”

“Neither am I,” said the Papa Bear.  “I think we need to go lie down.”

So the three bears crawled off to their bedroom.

The itty bitty Baby Bear lay down in his itty bitty bed.

The middle-sized Mama Bear lay down in her middle-sized bed.

And the powerfully big Papa Bear lay down in his powerfully big bed.

“You’re smothering me!” said Chicken Pox to the powerfully big Papa Bear in a voice almost as loud as a whisper.

But the Papa Bear didn’t hear her.

So Chicken Pox coughed and pushed, and sneezed and shoved, and finally wiggled her way out from under the Papa Bear.

She climbed out of the powerfully big bed and stumbled through the house and out the door and home, without her medicine.

And the three bears didn’t even see her go, for they were very sick.  They had sneezes, and coughs, and spots, and itches, and aches, and pains, and watering eyes, and every other icky sicky thing that a bear could have.

And they just stayed in their beds until they were better.

The itty bitty Baby Bear stayed in bed for an itty bitty time.

The middle-sized Mama Bear stayed in her bed for a middle-sized time.

But the powerfully big Papa Bear was so powerfully sick, that it was a powerfully long time before he was able to get out of bed.

And from then on the three bears never took their vitamins.

And they never ate whole-wheat porridge.

And they never took walks before breakfast.

Because something had made them very sick.  And they didn’t know what it was.  But they didn’t want to take any chances.


Frankenstein and the three Bears

One morning, as Frankenstein was stomping through the forest, knocking down trees and stepping on small animals, (but accidentally, of course, since deep down inside, Frankenstein is very kind), he came to a little house.

Frankenstein was curious to know who lived there.  He loved to make friends.  Maybe the people who lived in this little house would be his friends.

Frankenstein knocked on the door.

The door fell in.

Frankenstein looked inside.  He could see no one.

He picked up the door.  There was no one underneath.

Frankenstein squeezed into the little house.

There on the table he saw three bowls of porridge.  “Yum!” he said.  “Frankenstein hungry!”

He picked up the little bowl and poured it down his throat.

“Yum!  Very hot!  Frankenstein like when porridge very hot!”

He picked up the littler bowl and poured it down his throat.

“Yum!  Very cold!  Frankenstein like when porridge very cold!”

He picked up the itsy bitsy bowl and poured it down his throat.

“Yum!  Just right!  Frankenstein like when porridge just right!”

Still no one had appeared.  Frankenstein saw three chairs.  He decided to sit and wait for someone to come home so he could be their friend.

He sat in the little chair.

CRASH!

“Little chair too weak,” said Frankenstein.  “Too bad.”

He sat in the littler chair.

CRASH!

“Littler chair too weak,” said Frankenstein.  “Too bad.”

He sat in the itsy bitsy chair.

CRASH!

“Itsy bitsy chair too weak,” said Frankenstein.  “Too bad.”

So he sat on the floor, where he waited…

…and waited…

…and waited…

…and waited.

“Frankenstein not like waiting.  Frankenstein see what else is in house.  After all, this house belong to Frankenstein’s friends.  They won’t mind.”

Frankenstein went upstairs.  There he found three beds.

He lay down in the little bed.

It sunk all the way to the floor.

“Little bed too soft,” said Frankenstein.

He lay down in the littler bed.

It sunk all the way to the floor.

“Littler bed too soft,” said Frankenstein.

He lay down in the itsy bitsy bed.

It sunk all the way to the floor.

“Itsy bitsy bed too soft,” said Frankenstein.  “If bed going to sink to floor, Frankenstein might as well lay on floor.”

And he did.  He lay on the floor and looked at the ceiling.  The ceiling was made of wood.  In the wood were funny looking knots.  The knots looked like Frankenstein when he was a baby.

Just then the door opened.  “WHO’S BEEN SLEEPING IN MY…” said a voice.  Frankenstein looked.  There was a little daddy bear.  Next to the little daddy bear was a littler mommy bear.  And next to the littler mommy bear was an itsy bitsy baby bear.

“Hi,” said Frankenstein.  “Will you be my…”

“AAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!” said the three bears, and they turned, dashed down the stairs, and raced out of the house.

“Oh dear,” said Frankenstein.  “Maybe they forget something.”  And he lay back down to wait.

He waited…

…and waited…

…and waited…

…and waited…

…but the three bears never returned.


Gladys and the Three Bears

Abner, do you smell that?

I smell it, Gladys.  It’s Mama Bear?s porridge.  She makes it every

morning at this time.  Let them eat their breakfast in peace.

Abner, if they’re supposed to be eating breakfast, why are they all

leaving their house?

Maybe they have a veterinarian appointments.  Or maybe they burned their

porridge and they’re going out for breakfast.  Or maybe their house is

on fire.  I’m sure they have a good reason that doesn’t involve us.

It looks like they’re going for a walk.  That’s unusual.

Walking is unusual?  Would you rather they run?

They don’t usually go for walks in the morning.  They usually walk in

the afternoon.

Maybe they saw you staring at them and decided to give you something to

gossip about.  They know how happy that makes you.

Well then, what do you say about that!

About what?

About that little girl.

What girl?

She’s heading toward the bear’s house.  She’s knocking.  She’s… she’s

going in!  The Bears aren’t home, but she just walked right in!

Maybe they hired her to clean.  Maybe she’s related.  Maybe she came,

saw the fire, and went in to put it out.

Their house is on fire?  We must call the fire department.

Do you see smoke?

No.

Then there’s no fire.

She’s breaking in.  She’s a burglar!  We must call the police!

When she walks out with their television, we’ll call the police.

But she’s a burglar!

How old is she?

About ten.

A ten-year-old burglar girl?  I doubt it.

You’re just… what was that?  I heard a crash!

Probably just branches hitting the house.

No, it came from the bear’s Place.

Then it’s none of our business.

None of our business?  If our neighbors heard crashing coming from our

house, wouldn’t you want them to help?

No.  It would probably just be you doing the dishes.  You’re a very

noisy dishwasher, you know.

Yes, but… look!  It’s the Bears!  They’re coming home!  Oh, that

girl?s going to get in trouble, you just wait.

Gladys, you…

Shhh!  I’m trying to hear what’s going on.

But…

Shhh!

Do you hear anything?

Nothing.

I told you.  She’s a relative.

I don’t.  Look at that!  I don’t believe it!

What?

That girl jumped out the second floor window!

So what?

Now would she do that if she were supposed to be there?

Okay Gladys, you can call the police.

I told you, Abner.

I know, Gladys.  I know.